Summer schedule

May 21, 7:30 "University" of Phoenix Diploma Mills at Slugs



May 28, 9:30 Slugs at Papi Flanagan's



June 4, 6:30 E3's: The Big Bad Bumpy's at Slugs



June 11, Bye No game this week



June 18, 7:30 St. Damien's Beard Correctly Punctuated Softball Team at Slugs



June 25, 8:30 Slugs at "University" of Phoenix Campus Strip Mall Profiteers



July 2, 6:30 Papi Flanagan's at Slugs



July 9, 9:30 Slugs at E3's The Big Bad Bumpy's



July 16, Bye. No game this week.

Slugs Win!!!

By Ed Fletcher
Slugs correspondent

Slugs manager John Kepley awoke, in a panicked rush, sweat dampening his brow.
His mind cloudy, spinning, hazy.
It seemed so real. Had the Slugs just crushed an opponent 16-2? Was it a dream? For that matter, was his recollection of an 0-8 embarrassment just a nightmare?

As the haze began to clear, ever so slightly he realized the pounding in his head was hangover - but was it victory shots, or shots to forget.

As he reached for his cell phone on his bed stand, he realized he was still wearing his glove from the night before.
And if he needed further confirmation, dragging ass to the bathroom he noticed the fresh tattoo blazoned across his forehead reading: “Yes John, you are 1-0, just in case your too drunk to remember.”

For the entire Slugs team, if last season was a nightmare. Thursday night was a wet dream.
The Slugs displayed strong defense and opportunistic hitting in route to an offense outburst the Slugs hadn’t seen in years.

“If felt really good to get off the snide,” said Slugs leadoff hitter Jim Miller. “Last season was such a disgrace.”
The highlight of the game was a flair into left the had nearly every fielder touching the ball and ended with center fielder Kevin Yamamura jumping in front of his wife, the second basewoman, to record an out at second.

“It was a great play,” said Ryan Lillis. “I just hope that Kevin gets out of the dog house soon.”
Mackenzine Tysell Yamamura said she wouldn’t let the fact that Kevin will have to find a dog house to sleep in mar the good evening.

While the excitement still ran high, pitcher Erin McGuire urged the team to not get too happy with themselves.
“It was clear our opponents were a little rusty and we had an 0-8 bashing to warm up,” McGuire said. “Let’s just stay humble and see where the season takes us.”

Season of woe continues

Not with a bang, but with a whimper the slug-less Slugs fell 9-2 to Schrute Beet Farms Thursday, their fifth straight loss in the Spring campaign.

The Slugs battled gamely with solid (sometimes eye-popping) defense only to fall victim to an old nemesis: run scoring.

Kevin Yamamura chased down numerous shots in short center, while hurler Erin McGuire turned in her usual flawless game in the field.

A high point was Ryan Lillis' triple (actually it was a double and a half) that scored a run and left the usually sure-footed Lillis bloody and temporarily sprawled at the feet of the Farmers' shortstop.

The Farmer boys sent three towering shots deep over Lillis' head in left field (D-league, you say?) .

More significantly, the Slugs offense remains in winter hibernation, prompting skipper John Kepley to urge individual Slugs to take personal responsibility by going to the batting cages to find their stroke.

One wag in the coed locker room grumbled that the rest of the league appears to be getting younger (the so-called Benjamin Button factor), while the Slugs' roster follows the natural order of things.

Slugs notes: The prospect of an 0-8 campaign does not please Kepley, who noted between Marlboro Lights that a Slugs squad has never had a winless season...Lillis was listed as probable for this week's game against SoCal's after getting treatment for his knees from the team's crack medical staff....Usually loquacious lefty Ellen Chrismer was silenced by some sort of ailment, which made calling for fly balls in right problematic...Thursday's game marked a return to Luigi's after a short hiatus, but team members followed up with hard liquor at Tallac Lounge.

Slugs slide to fourth loss

The rebuilding year continues for the struggling Slugs.

But progress now is not only within reach for the lovable gastropods, it is palpable.

The bats finally came alive in game 4 of a tough Spring campaign as the club dropped a heartbreaker, 11-10, to Majority Rules. Buoyed by towering home runs from Ed "Fast Eddie" Fletcher and Ryan "Don't call me Lily" Lillis, the Slugs roared to a four-run lead but fell to some timely two-out hitting from Majority Rules in the final at-bat.

There were many positive signs: clutch pitching from Erin "I have a new tattoo" McGuire, sage back-up managing from Jim "The Quiet Man" Miller, solid line-drives from newcomer Kathy "Lefty" Fairbanks and relatively sound fielding from all concerned.

Manager John Kepley, in Kansas on a recruiting trip, planned to study game films before this week's match-up with 10 batters/10 balls.

Slugs Notes: MRI tests were negative on McGuire's spleen, plastered by a thrown softball as she made it into third base...Trainers said Ahmed "I'm back" Ortiz received non-specific "treatment" for general muscle soreness after chasing down numerous blasts in left field...The Slugs can still post a .500 record if they win out...

Slugs Spring 2009 Schedule

Slugs remaining schedule, Spring league 2009:

April 9
7:30 - 10 Batters/10 Balls

April 16
6:30 - Schrute Farm Beets

April 23
8:30 - SoCals

April 30
6:30 - Boats and Hoes

Lacking Slugs News...

Former Coach Tam has hacked into the Slugs blog to post something, anything.

"The blog shouldn't go dormant just because I skipped town," raged the former coach. "Who won the Socals game last week? How will I get all my Slugs gossip without regular updates on the blog?"

There have been no posts to the blog since August 31st, the start of the fall season.

Hoping to inspire active members of the team to get back to blogging, Keith posted this bit of inspiration.
Ready to join the team, even if he doesn't have enough teeth to take on the Luigi's crust, Charley Margolis poses in his Slugs uniform onesie. Says proud father and former Slugs infielder, Jason Margolis "we're already working on hitting the cut-off man."

All Slugs should be working to hit the cut-off man.

Our Schedule

Here are our fall opportunities for victory. Some of you will call it our schedule.

All opportunities/games are at Tahoe Park.

Sept. 4 - 7:30 at Loose Change

Sept. 11 - 8:30 vs. Hydrohaulics

Sept. 18 - 8:30 at SoCal's Force

Sept. 25 - 7:30 vs. Sub Shack Attack

Oct. 2 - 7:30 vs. Chocas

Oct. 9 - 8:30 vs. Loose Change

Oct. 16 - 9:30 at Hydrohholics