Friday, April 25, 2008

Slugs Continue Winless Streak

The Slugs game last night against the Bad News and Review Bears at Tahoe park set a record...but not the good kind. For the first time in Slugs history the team went scoreless. More than halfway through the game, the team had only one hit. It came from Jim Miller who had to leave the game early. There were some beautiful fly balls hit directly to some very speedy muscle bound dudes in the outfield. There were some well hit grounders that found their way into fielders gloves. And there were straight up strike outs. It wasn't pretty. After 55 minutes of play, the Slugs made it to base just 5 times. The Bears had 5 runs.

"The really depressing thing is our defense was solid," said a rather glum Coach Tam. "5 runs isn't insurmountable. But it is if your bats are as cold as ours were."

Sometime in the 4th inning, the word "curse" started to cross the lips of several Slugs. There is simply no other explanation. The Slugs are cursed.

After the game, in an attempt to exorcise the demons in the team's bats, team members put all the bats on grass and formed a circle around them. It was a modification of the team's usual post-game ritual of forming a circle around the game's MVP, counting to 3 and shouting "Slugs!" This time the team formed a circle and former Coach Kepley yelled "I am going to destroy all of you if you don't start fu**ing performing." Then he counted to 3 and the whole team shouted "slugs." As they stepped away, the Slugs noticed a 7 year old (or maybe she was 4) standing in a nearby dugout with a shocked looked on her face. Former Coach Kepley saw no need to apologize. This is softball and sometime softball requires a little profanity.

There are many ideas circulating to help the Slugs break their curse. They include: getting really drunk before the next game (it worked for Beer:30), recruiting the shortstop from the SoCal's Force and burying the broken red bat in center field in the middle of the night.

Coach Tam is immediately calling on all female Slugs to wear athletic skirts to the next game. "We won the last game where we all wore skirts, so it's worth a try," she said. "Secure men are also encouraged to wear skirts. They're on clearance at Target this week." Even former Coach Kepley said he would support this plan despite his conviction that skirts shouldn't be allowed in softball.

1 comment:

Judy Lin said...

I will be sure to pick up those skirts in every color.